Heat of the Moment

There are times when inspiration hits me all of a sudden, (on the train, shower, etc). These are the poems that are scribbled on napkins, post-its, and the occasional half piece of paper. These postings will always be entitled Heat of the Moment, well, because every blog needs a signature bit. There are no punctuations, occasional capital letters, and correct spelling is optional. Welcome to my unfiltered mind...

Busy Idle 
Standing at the train station 

don't know what I'm doing
going where the wind blows
trying to make a little money 
so I can buy better clothes 
don't really think it will help
but who knows
I have heard so many languages 
that I don't understand 
I wish I knew the secret command
to unlock all the knowledge I cant quite grasp
Love me 


Another lover to erase from my memory 
I said I could handle it 
He said it could not be
Fuck why is this happening to me again, for the 100th time
My heart can't handle any more tears 
or slippery surfaces when my mind falls and cracks and bleeds bloody insecurities 
spilling over into every part of me until I am a doubled over hollow version of myself
Why is it every time after I pick myself back up 
I fall for another lie and come crashing down down down 
I fall into the dark unknown crying out for help because I can't quite seem to save myself 
Help Help Please somebody help me 
Help me piece myself together again
Shit humpty didn't have nothin on me cause my shell takes a lot more to crack.

Not There Yet

Please be kind
be patient with me 
I am not there yet 
I have not gotten to happy 
I do not run through fields of flowers because the hills are alive 
if the hills were alive I would be afraid 
I can do a pretty good imitation sometimes
and my smiles are dead on in almost every picture 
yeah that girl can pose 
imitation of life was a girl confused and wanting a better life 
see I could pass for well-adjusted professional cool 
but I am pretty genuine 
not so bad to be around all the time 
so yeah just be kind


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