You Did It to Yourself:
Why I Can't Stand the "Nice Guy"

Fact: Unless a man wants to be your gay best friend, and he approached you without knowing you previously, he wants the panties. Men are pretty pragmatic. They act less on feels and more on the ability to cop a feel. A man may want far more than this, and want it more than once even- Enter, "The Nice Guy."

"The Nice Guy" DOES NOT want to be your gay best friend, but goes about getting the panties in the most indirect way possible. He does irrational things to stay in your thoughts and on your FB feed, then blames you for being a "playa" and only liking "jerks." However, it seems the only basis most "Nice Guys" have for calling other men "Jerks" is that they get the panties, without all the extra hassle. See the issue there? There is nothing "Nice" about laying claim to something that does not belong to you, and feeling wronged when someone else takes it. It's like falling in love with a puppy in a pet shop.

Courtsey of @3rd10millionyrs

Going through the awkward years is one thing, but being a "Nice Guy" after about 27 is a lack of personal development on the man's part. (I would also say the same thing about women who have a "List" of superficial qualities they want in a man.) If you know a "Nice Guy," make him watch "Hitch," go on Youtube, or read this blog because I'm about to share some nuggets.

Tip #1: If a woman hesitates or does not offer to give a man her contact information, leave it alone. Leave it in that bar, club, library, etc. Women love to get calls from a man they're interested in and show off texts to their single hater girlfriends. Let that sink in. If a woman says "Oh, are you on Instagram?" she just wants you to like her #foodporn pictures. Keep it movin.

Tip #2: Do not play the fool. It goes both ways, but women expect more from men. It sounds like a horrible double standard, but they're supposed to be the pragmatic ones remember? If a man cannot properly determine if his advances are being received or which advances to even employ, it leads women to wonder what else does he have trouble figuring out? (Yes, our minds wander to the bedroom too.) Get a game plan.

DISCLAIMER: This is not the same as having game! Having game will get your car keyed if you are dealing with a bold woman. ;)

Last but not least...

Tip #3: Know thyself!!! You see that? There are three exclamation points. You know what "Jerks" know? They know who they are and what girls they can get. They know who they will absolutely repel and the women who think they can "change him" by givin some good love. If a "Nice Guy" keeps feeling like he's "losing" chances are he's chasing the wrong one.

Remember this happened! Courtesy of

NOTE: This has NOTHING to do with LOOKS! A confident man who knows himself could look like lurch and pick up Halle Berry (circa 2001).

Are you an amazing dancer? Are you skilled at Scrabble? Are you an amazing cook? We love to see men express themselves. Maybe it's something we have in common, or a compliment. DO NOT BOAST! (Pulling a Dwayne Wayne saying you got a 1500 on your SATs is not cool.)

At the end of the day, grown women who have a little bit of common sense, do not waste time with silly men- be they "Nice Guys" or "Jerks." To me they are two sides of the same coin, because they have not gotten to a place where they really want genuine love from a woman who is CAPABLE and WILLING to give it. Truly caring for someone else is not just about giving them the cheeks (ahem ladies), and men shouldn't have to carry 50 bags around the mall every other Saturday to get it. It is all about balance. If you are taking a girl on a $100 date then driving her to her, Ahem, "buddy's" house after, you did it to yourself.

From the Author: As a woman, I found out the hard way that men are rarely interested in being "just friends." Ladies, be kind. If you know you're not going to give up the draws, don't have that man paying your weight in meals. Got men out here scared to go anywhere other than Wendy's and trying to hangout in group settings. Call me old fashioned, but how you get to know somebody with Pitbull blasting in the background? ALSO: A man can be a gentleman without being a "Nice Guy." Putting a girl in a cab to make sure she gets home safe is one thing. Driving her and her friends all over town w/o gas money is another.

What say you ladies? Am I being too tough on the "Nice Guys?" What says boyfriend material to you? Express yourself. :)



  1. First I applaud the courage to deal with such a topic In the manner that you have chosen. As a Male I would suggest that women begin to understand the difference between a Man/ Male. Every Male has the potential to become a Man but there is a lot of work involved before reaching said status. A Man is everything a Male desires to Be-come and a woman wants. I separated the word become for this particular reason, Be- denotes action, so as the Male strives through His service to self and humanity, a Man will Come into existence through the eyes of the woman that understands the difference between Function and Phallus.....

    1. Thank you so much for your comment! If you think this is courageous you should check out the rest of the blog. At the end of the day, both men and women have a lot growing to do before getting into relationships. I appreciate you reading. :)


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