July 1, 2014

There Will Always Be Women Who Side
with The Patriarchy


The best way to build a bridge, is to acknowledge the river. Turning a blind eye to problems will often get you stabbed in the back. I could make up a million more metaphors because I'm also a poet and it's fun, but you see where I'm going with this. At a certain point in whatever project or struggle you are fighting, you have to face the facts of that situation, it's what makes you an adult.

As a young adult woman of color, I have no problem with adopting the term feminist to frame many of my opinions and ideas. I do not shy away from the term. It is not negative. It is the reason why I can write and commune with other women in a healthy way. Confession: this was not always the case. There was a time in my naivety, where I would gladly choose a boy over my friends and defend gross behavior as "boys being boys" and "oh that's what dudes do." As girls, we learn that boys are better, that they get all the rewards, that if you "play nice" you might get to suck on the sweet teet of privilege via your boyfriend/husband/male boss/what-the-hell-ever with a penis. This was when I was a girl. I grew up.

In adulthood you realize that people do not "play nice," that you can never assume loyalty and allegiance based on looks alone, and that sticking to "who you are" may be hard AF. However, recognition is the first step. Learning to listen with your mind open, to see with your legs closed, will reveal a person faster than a stripper at a 2 cent show. It will become your strength to pay attention before you declare another woman your "bestie" who is only waiting for her chance to sabotage your movement/outfit/relationship/whatever. Similarly, not bedding men who have no ability to comprehend why you are "bothered" by that silly street harassment thing and gets out the tiny violin for you, is loving yourself to the max. 

I write these words of caution in light of the Hobby Lobby decision, and after debating on the side of equal healthcare coverage for women, against other women, for the millionith time. These are the special women who believe they will be protected by the patriarchy as long as they "play nice." To be clear, I never said don't play it smart. Please don't go to work flipping tables talm bout "you male pig, stop oppressing me." We don't have to burn our bras again, but we have to be smart. I hate to say it, but women who say companies shouldn't be forced to do basic things and use the word "feminazi" are not my friend. I would be a fool to think so. Companies should not be forced to have a beer pong room, but basic healthcare? N/A. Please believe if men could get pregnant this would not be an issue.

There is nothing to be upset about here. It is a sad fact, but I will not lose sleep on "the women lost." In fact, it is my hope that they never come faced with a dire situation where they realize they were horribly wrong. Also, there are male feminists too, so do not read this as "women who like men are traitors." Stop. The truth is, some girls grow up and some do not. For the grown women, I salute you and we will march together with our sensible men in tow. For the girls, I wish you good luck.




 

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