February 15, 2015

Lost in Love: A Valentine's Word of Caution

I debated on writing this post for a few weeks- fine up until two hours ago. Valentine's Day is one of the few Holidays that brings out the absolute worst in people. This year I helped out in a flower shop and saw men trying to make up for a whole bunch of "whatever I did" with $100 arrangements. I heard about women stealing other women's flowers that were delivered to them at work. I saw a lot of posts about Netflix and sadness. Then there are the struggle pics of "gifts" from imaginary boyfriends, but I'll just leave that alone.

The thing about Valentine's Day, and why it punches buttons, is that it is pretty darn dishonest. If you want me to cut you up with my eyes, tell me a lie. Liars upset me because I believe in the "Golden Rule" and pride myself in my intelligence. So when V-Day shows up like "Hey Baby, I know it's been 364 days since I seen you, but I love you like a fat kid loves cake." I'm all, "NO! I LOVE CAKE. You're just a made-up day full of poop." I mean, it's not even a real Holiday if the bank isn't closed, so I should just stop writing. . .

As I continue to write, let me ask all you readers a question. What does it mean to be single? In a very literal sense it's a number, one. Wait, number one! See what I did there? Being single does not have to be, and in my humble opinion, is not, a tragedy. It is not a tale of the girl who looked wistfully at couples kissing all day, but rather the adventure of the girl (or guy) who does whatever she (or he) wants.

Now I wasn't always this cool about it. FULL DISCLOSURE ALERT! I was one of those girls always in a relationship. I didn't flaunt my relationship status, but I sure as hell couldn't tell you who Erin Parks was, what she did, or why she did it. Now I know that I am a fabulously dysfunctional being who will get jiggy with it in Bangkok like it's 2004.

I know that I love, love, and that there are no limits on how I express it.

Do not be fooled. Losing yourself, or whittling your existence down to your relationship status is silly. Especially on a day when everyone is doing the exact same thing. Do you want to be unique? Want to be number 1? Whether you are single or in a relationship here's how:

1) Learn new sh*t! I cannot stress how important this is. That is why I put it first. You want to be awesome? You want to spice things up? Never stop learning! Whether you are single or in a relationship nobody will be impressed with the fact you only know two words in Spanish 5 years from now. Did you read that part where I helped out in a flower shop? Yeah, cause I'm testing out my floral arrangement skills. Holla at ya girl.

Yeah, I did that. *Brushes dirt off shoulders
2) Get your sh*t together! You know what I just did? I watched the Suze Orman Show. I love that woman. I love that show. She dishes out tough love to people who need it the most, so they can turn their lives around and not end up in a cardboard box condo. I dig that. Be an asset to your friends, family, man, woman, or whatever by not being a broke-ass.

3) Try new sh*t! No one is impressed by your pasta. NO ONE. It's sauce and noodles. Try to make Chicken Cordeon Blue, make some chickpea casserole, hell, conquer the world's most difficult dessert. You can do it. Believe you can do it. If this sounds familiar see number 1 (LEARN NEW SH*T.)

I tried a new stylist and came out
looking like a diva. #thatisall
4) Help other people do sh*t! You want to be loved? Give. My most rockstar moment was hanging out in a fourth grade classroom at my old elementary school. You think you need love? Try being a domestic abuse survivor with two kids in a shelter. I think it's a bit more tricky. Count your blessings then pass them on. I don't have a car, but I do have a healthy body that can do a quick jog to the bus stop, which leads me to...

5) Put sh*t in perspective! Rarely is it as bad as it seems, and even when it is, trouble don't last always. Short of sounding like an old negro spiritual, all I can say is that it's not always about you, all the time. Just look at what happened to Beyoncé

Ok I'm out!

P.S. If you're reading this you survived Valentine's Day. Now, finish off that bottle of wine and keep loving on you. Based on these FB posts, some of y'all really need to work on that.



Do you have more self-love tips? 
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