What James Baldwin and Sally Field Taught Me Last Weekend

I have a little more time on my hands these days. Fear is only insurmountable until you face it. Then, once you have looked "Fear" in the face, you realize that it only 5'2," pasty, sad, weak, and incapable of lifting an avocado, nevermind being capable of "ruining your life."

Once you have looked at "Fear," you can do anything. I knew this without knowing when I cashed out the savings my grandparents put together for me to stay in New York. I knew this when I blindly moved to Colorado. Somehow though, along the overly developed roads fueled by the green of hallucigenic plants and "big interests," people stopped mattering.

Then I realized that across the world people are ceasing to matter, as a collective anyway. The old have taken up arms against the young. The young are confused about immigrants and -isms. The 1% are laughing in their penthouses. Along the way, as the days ticked by to make me 30, I grew upset. Along the way I had forgotten how small "Fear" is. In a moment of being threatened by my former boss, I remembered and I was done.

"I Am Not Your Negro" came out in 2016. In 2016, I was being swept away. Not the lovely type of swept that smells like fresh lillies or the Amazon box that has all your personal care items for the month. It was more of a chipping away. Swept sounds too involuntary. In short, whereas I would have run to the nearest indie theater to hear the eloquent words of James Baldwin, I pressed on and focused on some media strategy for some group that I would never hear from again after the work was done.

Sally Field is something of a national treasure if you ask me. While I am not familiar with every show/film credit, the films I have seen her in have made me look at myself. "Hello, My Name is Doris" is one of them.

The films have nothing in common on the face. The two subjects, seemingly, have nothing to do with one another. Yet, they are both storytellers. Watching both movies last weekend filled me with a lot of thoughts and emotions, (some of which I still need to process), but the desire to be seen as human - to be loved through seeing - is as universal as honey making itself known on your fingers.

"Fear" keeps us from seeing, because we do not want to know what it looks like. We belief it could ruin our lives. Well, as real as "Fear" is, so is our courage.


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